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Why do some couples fall out of love after a few years?

LifestyleWhy do some couples fall out of love after a few years?

Statistics show a large number of couples falling out of love after a few years and there is only a small percent of couples who remain in love forever

There are basically three kinds of couples: The first kinds of couples are the stoic die-hard committed ones who stay true to their pledge of love through rain, storm, and sunshine held with golden threads of pledge and commitment.

The other kinds of couples who love eternally are very rarely found in this world. They are drawn to each other through magnetic waves and the more they do things together, the stronger they bond. These couples move mysteriously on a magical current that carries them through life and until death do they part. Incredibly, sometimes when one of them dies, the other dies within a day or a week!

The third kind is the more common-found couples, where men hunt and explore and women serve, fume, cry, and adore or it can go the other way, vice versa.

The focus of this article is on the third type of couples. In today’s modern world, 60 percent of couples are looking for an extramarital relationship. As hopeless and gloomy as it sounds, there is a ray of hope as light shed in gray areas might save a relationship, so hang in there and don’t put this article down!

Familiarity and Boredom

The greatest killer of a relationship is familiarity.  While familiarity seems positive as a relaxed friendliness between people, on the negative side, it is the biggest terminator. Familiarity takes people for granted. Soon, one of the partners or both start to appreciate others more than each other. This kills love. Red lights start to zoom on the traffic roads of familiar relationships. Relationships are always neutralized by this as one starts to lose respect for the other.

The smoke of familiarity starts to choke the flickering flames of a relationship and slowly, the relationship turns to ashes. Boredom, the brother of familiarity, steps in to dance on the smoking ashes. It is no longer about playing with fire because the relationship is already dead. Breaking the mode of familiarity can help. Step out of common grounds, do exciting, new things together to keep relationships tantalizing.

Men are Like Rubber Bands and Women are Like Waves

This amazing principle was shared in the book Men are from Mars and Women are From Venus by John Gray. The natural design of men is they draw near and get intimate, but suddenly feel stretched and need to pull away to find their sense of autonomy and independence. It is important for them to pull away like rubber bands.

However, pulling away confuses women and they feel hurt and rejected. A man in order not to hurt her may stop pulling away, but in the end, feels resentful, threatened, and controlled. This is when their relationship starts to fall apart and they may look outside for an affair to meet their emotional needs. It is important for a woman to let a man pull away for he does come back more refreshed springing back to her after his rubber band is stretched.

A woman is like a wave with peaks of joy, love, sweetness, but that wave crashes when her mood falls low and changes like the weather.

A woman is like a wave with peaks of joy, love, sweetness, but that wave crashes when her mood falls low and changes like the weather. This might be triggered by old memories and bad past relationships and fears. A woman needs to be told and shown she is loved. A man would just need to love her through her wave crashes, but often he is exasperated with her mood changes. He snaps, “How many times do we have to go through this? I don’t want to deal with this again.

I already told you I love you, how many times do I need to tell you?” His irritation brings on her feelings of rejection. He feels she is blaming him when her mood is down, but it is not about him, and he has not learned to support her through this process. She thinks he does not understand her and the love and attraction between them start to die.

Money, Sex, and Power

Some men and women get into relationships for money and power. If in time, they find that their partner cannot give them especially money, they would move out and look for another rich partner. Money, sex, and power play a big role here to entice new partners. The dowry system has made roads to crimes where people marry for money, property and assets. When unfulfilled, spouses look for the greener grass getting involved in new relationships who can meet their desires. Because it involves money, trying to get rid of the “old” partner has even led to violence and murders.

Your Money Becomes our Money

When one wants to give, and the other holds back, this causes tensions, one wants to save while the other wants to go on vacations, or one makes all the money and the other makes none causes resentment. This is a crucial deciding factor in the relationship and money wars can be a destroyer of love.

Men Who Hunt and Explore

Men love to hunt and explore new things. Some men just want the thrill of a new adventure and some excitement in their lives. Sexually, they want to “explore” new women. So they step out purposely looking out for that “new woman with an alluring body to check out.” Their own marriage may be flowing with a wild erotic romance, and yet they still step out to look for another woman to entrance.  Such partners will never stick to one person. This will keep happening as they get bored with their new partner too.  If a man or woman has a premeditated plan to get into an affair, they will. Only will power and commitment can actually reinforce a relationship. It just takes a decision, but the mind has to be very strong for that.

Men love to hunt and explore new things. Some men just want the thrill of a new adventure and some excitement in their lives. Sexually, they want to “explore” new women.

The Internet, the place of minds meeting, has played a big role in enabling fast relationships in the New Age. Here, people quickly discover others they are attracted to without the formalities of an introduction. Approachability is easier on the Net, so this is a place where many marriages and relationships have been broken.

Money Stresses

When couples are going through financial lows, stress levels are high. Some couples in order to de-stress get involved in an extramarital relationship. This keeps them on high gear. While relationships cost money, they would look for one which would be “low cost” for them!

Putting Parents, Family Members First

When a couple puts their family members, parents before their partners, it takes a toll on the relationship. The partner gets vibes that their spouse does not really love them. In need of validation, this may open the door for an extramarital affair.

Over Control Makes the Bird Fly Away

A very controlling partner, usually a man, will destroy the other. The woman starts to feel like a bird in a cage whose wings are clipped. The controlling spouse takes charge of every move of her life so she has no rights over her life. Her friends, her phone, and her movements outside her home, her bank account, and everything she does go through him. He uses vicious, uncomplimentary, belittling speech on her to keep her morale low. She starts to feel claustrophobic and depressed over time. It may take her years to get to that place but one day, the dam finally bursts, and she rebels. She rises up, flies out of her cage. If destiny takes her there, she may get involved with another man.

Violence and Abuse

Spouses may tolerate abuse and violence for years on end thinking it is normal. In fact, abused women particularly still “love” their abusers for years because their self worth is so low and senses are numbed. Often, their emotions are so repressed that they do not even realize they are being abused. One day, when the “light turns on”, they suddenly become aware they are emotionally scarred. With this sudden realization, their love for their partner finally ebbs; they pack their bags, flee, file for divorce, and never look back.

In order to keep the flames of love high, all this malware in a relationship can be deleted if one processes relationships correctly and uniquely.

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